Invincibility Starkun
by Kurai Minoru
Summary: Kise's earned a new, less-than-conventional nickname after the display of his abilities in the most recent match. Crack!fic.


Invincibility Star-kun

**AN:** This came to me as I was playing Mario Kart and someone knocked me off Rainbow Road. I remember thinking, "_Damn! Where's an invincibility star when you need one_" and BAM! This muse popped into my head. ...I _wish_ all my muses would turn out that way. Any relations to Mario are purely coincidental. Have fun. :D Heavens know I did.

**Warning:** Complete and utter crack. Not meant to be taken seriously (although I would die laughing if people refer to Kise as Invincibility Star-kun after this drabble), and once again, taken with a pinch of smelling salts to keep you out of laughing hysterics. And maybe Midorima-kun's lucky screwdriver. Just in case you know.

* * *

"_You can take whatever women or titles you want. Right now, I have a much more important promise to keep. I'll definitely get there… Don't you get in my way!_"

Riko pressed the pause button with a sigh.

"How are we going to counter all of the abilities of the Generation of Miracles at once?"

She murmured. The overall mood in the room was melancholic. Hyuuga leaned back in his chair, a gloomy look on his face.

"Playing against one Generation of Miracle member is already enough. But all five? How are we going to overcome those abilities?"

"Don't mind, don't mind!"

Kiyoshi slapped him on the back with a cheerful look on his face. However, it quickly shifted into a serious look when he had voiced out his thoughts.

"We'll just have to find a way for him to overexert himself and force him to cut the five-minute time limit even shorter."

Everyone stared at him.

"That's actually pretty smart… Why didn't I think of that before?"

With a renewed vigor, Riko reviewed all the strategies they could use to force Kise to overuse Perfect Copy and therefore shorten the time limit.

"… and we'll be relying on Kagami and Kiyoshi to screen Kise while Kuroko passes… hey, Koganei. Koganei. Are you listening Koganei?"

Mitobe looked worriedly at his partner; surely Koganei wasn't feeling ill, he was fine a few minutes ago. Surely but strangely, everyone was watching Koganei who appeared to be deeply in thought and was quiet for the whole of ten minutes. And everyone who _knows_ Koganei knows that there is _definitely_ something wrong. Koganei, silence, and deep thinking did not go together in one sentence. At all. Mitobe shook his shoulder worriedly. Koganei roused himself and met the eyes of his teammates who had gathered around him a circle.

"Say guys, I was thinking…"

"We know you don't think so spill."

"Waa, so mean!"

Koganei ran towards Mitobe, crocodile tears leaking out the corners of his eyes. Riko could feel a headache building up behind her temples as a vein ticked. Taking deep breaths, she calmed herself down.

"Now what was so important that would cause you to think and ignore the strategies that we discussed _that might save your butts during the semifinals?_"

Her expression promised a lethal _quadrupled_ training menu if the next thing he said out of his mouth was not important to adding to the slight chances of their victory.

"Well…"

Koganei suddenly turned serious. The rest of the team leaned in closer to hear, despite their better judgments. Hey, who knows? Maybe he really had something important to say.

"Isn't Kise like the invincibility star from Mario?"

Complete and utter silence. The rest of the team stared at Koganei as if he grew two heads. Although the way he and Mitobe were completely connected at the hip may have been another head in his case. God knows Koganei needed it. He plowed through his reasoning, undeterred and perhaps even _encouraged _by the silence as assent to continue.

"You know, because he's pretty much invincible for that time duration of five minutes with the entire range of all the Generation of Miracle's skills, and that's like the invincibility star from Mario, isn't it? It grants you temporary invincibility for a period of time and then you can pretty much do what you want. No one can touch you."

The entire Seirin team was bemused by his reasoning.

"Plus, the invincibility star is _yellow._ It matches Kise's hair color."

Koganei nodded wisely. The Seirin team was completely stupefied by the end of his monologue. _That_ was his reason?

"Now all he needs is a catchy theme song and a glowing yellow aura to complete it."

Unsurprisingly, the silence was broken by Kiyoshi's chuckle.

"That… was a very interesting point of view."

Hyuuga rounded on him.

"It was not! Don't encourage him, Kiyoshi!"

Their one-sided bickering was interrupted by Izuki. Hyuuga recognized that gleam in his eyes and bit back the urge to groan. Izuki started to open his mouth, but at that very moment, Hyuuga cut in.

"Izuki… just stop. Don't even go there."

Izuki fell back on his haunches disappointed. Hyuuga let out a sigh of relief, only to stop when he saw Kagami's shaking form. As if he sensed the pair of eyes on his back, Kagami burst out laughing.

"Haha, a theme song! Hahaha, an invincibility star!"

Kagami wiped a tear after his laughing fit. Talk about hilarious. A superior ability now compared to an equip item in a video game? He was so having a field day.

"Ne, ne, ne, what kind of theme song would he have?"

Izuki and Koganei fired off suggestions for song titles. Mitobe tried to stop his partner as he saw that Hyuuga and Riko were getting seriously irritated. Kiyoshi's "Don't mind, don't mind!" as well as his adding onto the conversation were not helping at all—"_Get your hands off me, you oaf!_" Kagami barked out a laugh as he heard someone say "the Pokemon theme song?" and from then, chaos ran rampant. All attempts made to bring the discussion back to what their original goal was fell upon deaf ears.

Furihata, Fukuda, and Kawahara hung back a little as their sempai started to grow louder and louder. They whimpered at the sight.

"I wonder if we can actually win…"

Furihata voiced out.

"We will win."

The freshman trio jumped. Kuroko stood next to them, an amused smile gracing his face.

"Ku-kuroko! Since when have you been there?"

He looked at them.

"Since the beginning."

They fell comically onto the floor.

_It's been a while, huh?_

Tsuchida wondered if it was too late to transfer to a sane school.

Kuroko phoned the rest of the Generation of Miracles (except Kise, that goes without say) that very night. Needless to say, Akashi and Aomine were extremely amused, Akashi dangerously so. The very next day, Kise received texts from all the members of the Generation of Miracles. He was tremendously weirded out, _and a little touched,_ that all of them had messaged him after his match with Haizuki, but also confused by the subject of the messages.

_Good job Invincibility Star-kun._

* * *

_Owari_

I actually had to **look up **Tsuchida's name. And the freshmen trio. OTL It makes me sad. They're really forgotten half the time. Especially Tsuchida.

Kudos to all who understand the reference of the freshmen trio! (Hint: It's from another popular sports manga!) Lucky pencils to you all! Drop a review and let me know how hard you laughed on a scale of 1 to 10. I can't be the only one who probably thought this, yeah?


End file.
